WORDS OF WISDOM FROM AND ABOUT THE GREATEST HUMAN BEING THAT HAS EVER LIVED (publication of origin provided where possible):

Quotes from LeBron:

"A LeBron James team is never desperate." - LeBron James, referring to himself in the third person

"You know, softball is the other sport I do besides basketball."

"I don’t want to be Kobe, I want to be LeBron.”
Maybe he's not a *complete* scumbag...

“A lot of players know how to play the game, but they really don’t know how to play the game, if you know what I mean. They can put the ball in the hoop, but I see things before they even happen. You know how a guy can make his team so much better? That’s one thing I learned from watching Jordan.”
Humility.

"Sometimes the coaches tell me to be selfish, but my game won’t let me be selfish.”
That's like going to a job interview and answering the "what is your greatest weakness" question with "my greatest weakness is that I don't have a weakness."

"I'm under a super microscope. I’ve got my friends to keep me cool. As long as you’ve got friends, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Say goodbye to your friends and say hello to your bloated, sycophantic entourage.  Maybe you should talk to MC Hammer about this one...

“I’m like a superhero. Call me Basketball Man.”
Even more humility.
 
Basketball Man:

"I love sharing the ball with my teammates. I see a lot of things before my teammates see them."
If LeBron's teammates don't see "a lot of things," how do they get into position and avoid getting hit in the back of the head by LeBron's passes?

"I just do what I got to do and go out and be myself, on and off the court, and take care of my obligations. That's generally your own destiny—knowing what you have to take care of."

"You can't let nobody run your train."
I could make some horrible joke about Kobe here.  Oh wait, I just did.

"I hope I can help guys coming out of high school, if they need advice. I know the ins and outs of everything."
Step 1: get yourself hyped as the second coming of Jesus. Step 2: make millions of dollars from Nike before playing in a single game. Step 3: Act like a condescending prick.

“Ask me to play. I'll play.
Ask me to shoot. I'll shoot.
Ask me to pass. I'll pass.
Ask me to steal, block out, sacrifice, lead, dominate.
ANYTHING.
But it's not what you ask of me.
It's what I ask of myself.”
He's like a superhero - Basketball Man.

“I don't need too much. Glamour and all that stuff don't excite me. I am just glad I have the game of basketball in my life.”

“I'm the next O.J.,”
I don't even know what the hell this is supposed to mean.  Either he's planning on racking up monster stats on a shitty team that never wins anything (hmmm...), brutally murdering a couple people, or becoming a shameless Uncle Tom sellout that plays golf with fat old white guys all day long.

“I am just happy to be part of the Nike family.”

"Everywhere I've been, I've been the best player. I love being a leader, and I love being the best. I just want to get better. It's not about being cocky or selfish or anything like that. It's just how I am."  (USA Today, Nov. 21, 2005)

"Once you become a professional athlete or once you do anything well, then you're automatically a role model ... I have no problem being a role model. I love it. I have kids looking up to me and hopefully I inspire these kids to do good things."  (Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Dec. 10, 2005)

"I've always been a leader. I've always kind of been the tallest person on the team when I was younger but always kind of the smartest. I was ahead of my time. I wasn't always the oldest, I kind of was the youngest on the team, but, I kind of knew what to do at times."
This shit is profound.

"I hear that word pressure all the time. There is a lot of pressure put on me, but I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself. I feel if I play my game, it will take care of itself."

"In the next 15 or 20 years, I hope I'll be the richest man in the world. That's one of my goals. I want to be a billionaire. I want to get to a position where generation on generation don't have to worry about nothing. I don't want family members from my kids to my son's kids to never have to worry. And I can't do that now just playing basketball."  (Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Dec. 10, 2005)
“I don't need too much. Glamour and all that stuff don't excite me. I am just glad I have the game of basketball in my life.”  LIES.  Plus, this quote pretty much proves how outrageously bloated LeBron's ego has become.  Richest man in the world?  Really?   

"It's hard to win in the league, because every team is good, they got players on their team. A lot harder than high school. It's competitive, and that's what I most love about it."

"Sometimes in the past when I played something might make me lose focus, or I would go home after a game where I thought I could have played better and I would let it hang over my head for a long time when it shouldn't. But now, being a parent, I go home and see my son and I forget about any mistake I ever made or the reason I'm upset. I get home and my son is smiling or he comes running to me. It has just made me grow as an individual and grow as a man."  (Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Dec. 10, 2005)
...into a big crybaby?  I wonder if his kid makes that same pathetic whining, crying, pouting face LeBron does when he doesn't get everything he wants...

"It looks positive at this point. I haven't talked with Mr. Colangelo, but we should be making this announcement within a week or so."

-LeBron in an interview prior to be notified if he had made the US National Team roster or not.

The next couple of quotes perfectly demonstrate what kind of hypocrite LeBron is.  He accepts his image of a humble, respectful newcomer to the league, is praised in accordance with this image, but then goes and says the same kind of disrespectful and nasty crap that other "unsportsman-like" players get publicly bashed for.

After the final game in the Wizards/Cavaliers playoff series, from a Michael Wilbon article in the Washington Post:

"The 31-foot shot was such a stunner, LeBron James said it 'felt like the Titanic ...like the ship was almost sunk,' even though the game was tied. 'He shot it from the ESPN booth, from where Hubie Brown and those guys were sitting. It was an unbelievable shot.'

What he actually said to/about Gilbert Arenas during the game:

"After the first miss, James walked to the foul line, put his hand on Arenas's shoulder and said, 'If you miss both of those free throws, the game is over.'

James walked back to the bench, and hundreds of people sitting nearby saw him wave his hand in front of his throat and say to his teammates that Arenas was a '[bleeping] wimp.'"
Holy crap.  All I can think about is what a class act that LeBron James is.  A role model, for sure.  WTF?!  He feigns respect for another player in front of the camera, only to say some vicious and obnoxious shit about him in front of his home crowd.  PS: to all Washington fans at that game - not only did you allow LeBron to do that ridiculous talcum-powder clap thing without booing him out of the place, you allowed him to do the throat-slash gesture and call Gilbert a "bleeping wimp."  Good work.

Plus, isn't touching a player at the foul line a technical foul?  Isn't doing the throat slash gesture a technical foul?  Guess not when LeBron does it. LeBron is mean as hell:

Quotes about Lebron:

"That was a travel."
-TNT Analyst Charles Barkley, commenting on LeBron's first-even playoff game-winner

“If I were a general manager there are only four or five NBA players that I wouldn’t trade to get him right now.”
-Former NBA player and coach Danny Ainge
Remember when that guy from the 76ers slapped you right in the face and you didn't do one little thing about it?  Yeah, it's fun to throw inbounds passes in people's faces until they straight-up bitch-slap you.  Clearly, you don't know anything except how to carry Barkley's water. 

“At this age LeBron is better than anybody I’ve ever seen in 37 years in this business, including Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant and Tracy McGrady. I’m willing to bet my company’s millions that he will meet those high expectations.”
-adidas recruiter Sonny Vaccaro, prior to LeBron signing a record sponsorship deal with Nike
So he's better than Jordan and Magic Johnson, too?  Wow.  Larry Bird?  Still think that now that you got the shaft and Nike got LeBron?  Also, it was real nice of you to dump on Garnett, who actually did sign a deal with your company. 

“We’re best friends. I brought him up to be his own man, to make good decisions. He hasn’t let me down.”
-LeBron’s mother Gloria

“He doesn’t want it for the money or for the fame like everybody thinks. He wants to play [in the NBA] because that’s his dream.”
-Gloria

“He’s the best high school player I’ve ever seen. I’m very guarded about saying that, because the last thing he needs is more hype. But I have never seen a better one.”
-Akron Beacon Journal columnist Terry Pluto
Apparently, you're not that guarded, asshole.  Way to live in Akron.

“I believe LeBron James would start on any NBA team today.”
-NBA and college great Bill Walton

"He's not intimidated by anyone. He has that swagger that most of the great ones have."
-Cavaliers coach Paul Silas
Hey Paul Silas - way to get fired in the middle of the season.

"I watch him every chance I get. I'm a big fan of his—what he stands for, how he conducts himself, how he's such a team player. He tries to play the right way. We don't have enough of that in the NBA."
-Pistons coach Larry Brown
Oh, okay.  Larry Brown knows all about teamwork.  He forged one of the most closely-knit teams in the history of the NBA, the 2005-2006 New York Knicks.

"He seems to be an awfully nice kid. He seems to be shouldering the responsibilities well, and he seems to be understanding that his game can speak for itself. He hasn't disappointed us."
-NBA Commissioner David Stern
From the man who established the NBA's official mandate to prove LeBron is the greatest player ever by giving him the calls right off that bat that it took Jordan years and years to get.

"He's the exception to almost every rule. His maturity is the thing that's the most startling about him. His basketball sense has gotten him to where he is."
-Nuggets head coach George Karl
George Karl:

"Forget the talent and the athletic ability, it's his maturity that's light-years ahead."
-Celtics head coach Doc Rivers

"He's the quickest study I've ever been around. He knows immediately when he makes a mistake."
-Cavs head coach Paul Silas

“Like I told the guys earlier, once he turns 21 and is able to drink, it’s over.”
-Jalen after LeBron scored 56 on the Raptors
I love Jalen Rose.  Somebody should make ilovejalenrose.com.