Tag Archives: Mrs. D. Wade

LeBron Homer FAIL

20 Mar

Would you like to read a bunch of flimsy reasons why we (unfairly) hate on LeBron too much? Great – because some guy at Bleacher Report has provided 9 of them.  Not 10, just 9.

Check it out. This guy may be the worst LeBron apologist of all time.

This garbage reads more like a concise list of reminders as to why our hatred of LeBron is justified than a defense of LeBron’s behavior.  For example, here is the weakest possible argument in defense of Lebron’s recent anti-heroics:

LeBron Passes on Final ShotLeBron pulled up for three and missed the shot that could have won the game, but the Heat got the offensive rebound and another chance to win the game. LeBron called Dwyane Wade to the ball and handed him the final shot. Wade made that shot, which led to a victory.

Well, once again, people didn’t think LeBron responded well to the pressure, and thought that he should’ve tried once more to give the Heat the win.

This is unfair criticism for a couple of reasons.

1. He tried to take the final shot. He missed.

2. After missing, LeBron probably wasn’t the most confident player on the court.

3. Do you really want a player lacking confidence shooting the final shot?

Didn’t think so.

Wow.  This genius explicitly addresses and validates the most common criticisms of the King James in one absolutely perfect example:

1. LeBron is not clutch when the game is in his hands.

In this example, LeBron misses a potentially game-winning shot.

2. LeBron is afraid to take the last shot.

In this example, LeBron is granted another chance to take the game-winning shot and redeem himself but passes the ball like it’s a hot potato.

3. LeBron is Wade’s sidekick/bitch/wife/Robin to Wade’s Batman, etc.

In this example, LeBron actually calls Wade over and gives him the ball (an obvious metaphor for leadership, responsibility, etc.) so that Wade can get it done.

So – Robin rushes into a fight, gets the shit kicked out of him, and Batman has to jump in and take care of business.  Robin watches the rest of the fight from the Batmobile.  With the doors locked.

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LeBron’s Tiny Purse

12 Mar

LeBron's Man Purse

Fabulous.

What’s inside LeBron’s cute little purse? Eyeliner? One of those hilariously small pistols women used to carry in the wild west?  An even smaller Hello Kitty purse? WHO KNOWS.

Guess you don’t need a very big purse when all you gotta carry is three quarters…

Thanks to John G. for the heads-up.

UPDATE: Notorious LeBron fellator Kelly Dwyer has actually written a story titled “LeBron’s man purse is still cooler than anything you own.”  Uh…:

I don’t care what you think, that thing is dope. I’d carry two, if I could pull it off. With the leather and the handle, it looks like it’s going to be full of straight razors, scotch whisky and creamed spinach in anticipation for that night’s massive slab of prime rib. If that’s a man-purse, it’s something that Errol Flynn would have boarded a swanky dirigible with.

There are so many things wrong with this.  Oh yeah – nothing says manliness like straight razors, scotch, and prime rib.  And nothing says I’m about to crush a 40 oz. prime rib and wash it down with a bottle of Johnny Walker like the tiniest little tampon carrier in the world.  Nothing.

And no, this dude is not being sarcastic.  This isn’t some joke that I’m not getting. I know this because of everything he has ever written about LeBron in the past – close to 100% of it is sickening ass-kissing.

He even used the word “dope.”  That is unforgivable.

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