Tag Archives: Miami Cheat

Clutch Cheating

15 Jun

LeBron may not be able to hit a clutch jumper to save his life, but that dude has perfected the art of cheating in the clutch.  Think about how many games he has closed out with a perfectly executed illegal move or sneaky foul.  “The Travel” was a game-winner, folks.  And so was his push-off on Durant at the end of last night’s game, which ultimately resulted in an intentional foul and two more FTs for LeBron.  The truth is revealed by the replay angle at :36:

LeBron has blossomed into one of the craftiest, effective cheaters in the league.  If there was a rating in NBA2K for cheating technique, LeBron would have a 98.  But only because they never give out 99s.

 

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4th Quarter of Game 2

3 Jun

Game 1 was boring and terrible.  However, I did notice that during the 5 or 10 minutes I was away from the game pouring myself whiskey drinks/smoking cigarettes/smashing things, the Mavericks seemed to go on runs. Of course, when I was watching the game, all that LeBron dunking and Dywyaynye Wade three-pointer stuff happened and the Heat won. I figured that if I avoided game 2 completely, the Mavs might have a chance. I was right. Dirk and his geezer friends were able to put up a win on the Cheat in Miami with a crazy 4th quarter comeback (or so I hear).

And I didn’t have to listen to a single sound come out of Jeff van Gundy’s mouth hole. I heard just about enough of that gushing LeBron homer in game 1 to last a lifetime.

Now I won’t be able to help myself.  I’ll have to watch game 3, which will probably guarantee some of the most obnoxious LeBron shenanigans yet. Goddamned universe. At least I can hit the mute button.  But I won’t.

OH HI LEBRON.

. . .

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