Tag Archives: LeBron in the NFL

Huge update

29 Oct

Another NBA season is upon us. Here comes a never-ending stream of completely boring and meaningless basketball games for us to ignore for months at a time!  Thousand years from now, the playoffs will begin, at which time we will watch a few playoff games, realize those are also pretty boring, and then wait for LeBron to flop his way to games 4-7 of the NBA finals, watch those, realize basketball is a flawed joke of a sport, and then go to sleep in the 3rd quarter.  The end.

Anyhow, in order to do my due diligence as continuing part-time owner of and giver of at least one partial fuck about ihatelebronjames.com, I will get you retarded bunch of 14 year-olds up to speed on all the recent shit you’ve already heard about LeBron..

First, LeBron’s feet are *completely* jacked, probably because he was already 25 when he graduated high school and is now very, very old.  This:

LeBron is gross.


Second, Jordan threw the rabid hyena/sportswriter hybrids of the world a raw 72 oz. porterhouse when he claimed that he would have beaten LeBron in a game of 1 on 1 in his prime.  Jordan quickly clarified that he meant no disrespect to LeBron, primarily because he was merely telling the truth (it is nearly universally acknowledged that Jordan is the greatest of all time, possesses a dramatically better jump shot than LeBron, and that LeBron would have been unable to utilize his go-to flop move in a game of 1-on-1).

Finally, LeBron still thinks he can play in the NFL/wants to play in the NFL (please, please do).  Oh yeah – a bunch of guys said a bunch of things about free agency and it was totally boring.  And Nike shoes are being sold in stores.



LeBron vs. Much Bigger Dudes

13 Oct

LeBron seems to think that he would make an amazing football player. You know, because of high school.

LeBron’s perfect throwing mechanics on display.

“If I wasn’t playing basketball, I believe I could try out for an NFL team and make it as a receiver,” James said. “What I’m doing right now will keep my mind off of playing football, but if something ever turned sour in the NBA, I think I’d take a shot at the NFL.”

Sure.  LeBron got beat to the basket and dunked on by a Chinese kid a few months ago, for fuck’s sake (see previous post for video).

Not a Chinese kid:

Slightly scarier than Dirk Nowitzki…

These quotes were taken from LeBron’s third season in the NBA when there was little to no chance of anything turning sour with the NBA (because of LeBron’s awesomeness, mostly). Now that next season is in serious jeopardy (and LeBron isn’t so awesome), he may have the chance to right the biggest wrong in his life and his ONLY regret:

“The only thing I regret in my life is not playing football my senior year”

How could he pass up such an amazing opportunity?

UPDATE: The lockout is over. LeBron won’t get his chance to play wide receiver in the NFL.  Dang.