Tag Archives: corrupt-ass refs

Clutch Cheating

15 Jun

LeBron may not be able to hit a clutch jumper to save his life, but that dude has perfected the art of cheating in the clutch.  Think about how many games he has closed out with a perfectly executed illegal move or sneaky foul.  “The Travel” was a game-winner, folks.  And so was his push-off on Durant at the end of last night’s game, which ultimately resulted in an intentional foul and two more FTs for LeBron.  The truth is revealed by the replay angle at :36:

LeBron has blossomed into one of the craftiest, effective cheaters in the league.  If there was a rating in NBA2K for cheating technique, LeBron would have a 98.  But only because they never give out 99s.

 

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Does this stat line look familiar?

25 May

Shoots 11-26, but gets 13 free throws.  5 turnovers.  There’s a flagrant foul call in there.  LeBron wins a close game in OT. How can anybody out there not be completely sick of this shit?

Humility. Decorum. Dignity. Class. These are words that will never be used to describe LeBron...

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Game 4 Recap

28 May

LeBron does the most shamefully pathetic dive of his career, gets the call:

lebron-takes-a-dive

Gets two free points, ties the game with seconds to go:

lebron-gets-2-free-points

Sideshow Bob mugs Howard, no call:

sideshow-bob-mugs-howard

Stan Van Gundy is all like “WTF?!”

stan-van-gundy-wtf

Overtime, clock ticking down, LeBron gets a shot off…BRICK. 

lebron-bricks-the-game-winner

Game Over.

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Stan Van Gundy on fouls and fines/Bill Simmons gets it without getting it

27 May

Stan Van Gundy’s game 3 post-game press conference was priceless.  Watch it here.

Reporter: Stan, the foul that Dwight fouled out on and a couple other call on LeBron…they don’t even look like fouls sometimes.  Can you comment on that?

Stan: Nope. But you can.  You write a column.  And see, the league won’t fine you $25,000 or whatever.  So…so you write it.  That’s what I love – you guys see it, but you don’t want to write it.  But you want me to comment on it so now I’m a whiner and I get fined.  You saw it, write what you saw.

[gasp] How *dare* you!  This is *my* ball.  I AM KING JAMES!!!

How *dare* you! This is *my* ball. I AM KING JAMES!!!

In the NBA, you can be fined for complaining about a call if you are a coach, even when you are unquestionably right.  The press can write whatever they want, but they rarely write stories critical of LeBullshit.  Consequentially, LeBron James has become a monster and the last two minutes of every close playoff game (arguably the only part of a basketball game worth watching) are a usually a joke.  Thanks, ESPNbavid $tern.  Even the defensive player of the year (carrying 5 fouls in a pivotal playoff game) doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt on a decisive defensive play when he goes up against LeBron.  When you guard LeBron, you are simply “the guy who is about to foul LeBron.”

You know the situation has gotten completely out of control when Bill Simmons, one of the most eager and enthusiastic of all LeBron fellaters, capable of writing super-romanticized bullshit like this:

In Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals, with one second to play and his Cavaliers trailing by two, a 6-foot-9, 275-pound local kid from Akron bullied toward the basket like a tight end. His goal was to jump as high as he could, extend his hands 2 feet over the 10-foot rim, then catch a lob from 50 feet away that had to be perfectly thrown. When his path was cut off, he recalibrated his mission almost as a navigation system reroutes a car, darted away from the basket toward the top of the key, caught a pass coming from his left, turned toward the rim, took a split second to center his body, bounced off the balls of his feet, extended in the air, then arched a 24-foot shot over the extended fingers of a 6-foot-10 opponent from Turkey. Even as he released the shot, he was falling backward, so his momentum carried him toward the other basket. Somehow, the shot rattled home. And that’s when LeBron James turned around, sought out his teammates and joyously hopped into their arms.

This was one of the bigger moments in recent NBA history: The time when our latest hope for “The Next Jordan” actually did something MJ would have done. Like so many other die-hards, I spent the next 24 hours rehashing the moment through phone calls and e-mails and texts.

…can force himself to admit this:

[Jordan was the best and worst thing to happen to the NBA because he created] a generation of one-on-one players who careen toward the basket in big moments, create some form of contact and hope officials will bail them out. With four seconds to play in Game 4 and his team trailing by 2, LeBron put his head down, dribbled as fast as he could and prayed Michael Pietrus would either bump him or trip him. If you watch the clip, he’s moving so fast that it would have been humanly impossible for him to make a shot. That wasn’t his goal. He wanted a call. And he got one. Their feet got tangled, LeBron lurched forward, and the refs bailed him out.

Both of these quotes came from the same article.  This is what drives me crazy about Bill Simmons.  He clearly and obviously sees what is happening to the NBA.  His knows the history of the game in a way that very few dorks are capable.  He can even recall a particular foul Bill Laimbeer committed against some guy from the Clippers in the 2nd quarter of a regular season game 20 years ago and what kind of doritos he was eating at the time.   He has correctly identified the problem with the modern game (see above) and even offers a few reasonable solutions to this problem.   But then he turns around and produces piles and piles of his own hero-worship bullshit (with some of the most comically overwrought sportswriting ever), the root cause of the problem he has just identified.  Wow.  Whether he realizes it or not, he is actively contributing to the demise of his beloved NBA, nudging it further and further away from his own ideal vision of the game.  I just don’t get it.

Sports journalists are the only people able to freely criticize the bullshit without getting fined.  They are the only people with an audience large enough and an influence great enough to force some kind of change in the bullshit.  Yet, these very same journalists rely on this hero-worship bullshit to pay their bills, thanks to the atmosphere fostered by Nike and Sportscenter.  Looks like we’re stuck.

So, Stan, this is why jerk reporters won’t write the obvious fucking columns they need to be writing.  And they probably never will.

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ESPNBAvid $tern – The Movie

23 May

I’ve been getting a ton of email about the “The Greatest Tragedy in Sports,”  an amateur documentary detailing David Stern’s douchebaggery from the 1985 Ewing draft lottery conspiracy to the 2002 Lakers/Kings Western Conference Final.  I thought I’d finally post something.  I’m not saying I think every claim this guy makes is legit.  I have no idea if it’s all true or even mostly true.  But I can tell you this – it’s not all bogus.  If even one tenth of this stuff has merit, ESPNBAvid $tern is a total jerk.  This documentary was obviously made by a Sacramento Kings fan/Lakers hater.  So why is this important for ihatelebronjames.com?  Because it makes the same argument that I’ve made here (of course a bit more seriously and with much higher production values) – that the NBA has become a choreographed joke based on superstar worship.  The shenanigans described in this documentary have become firmly and permanently entrenched in the NBA to such an extent that sportscasters refuse to write about favoritism, or worse – they accept it as a normal part of the game.  The governing philosophy of the David Stern era – that superstars generate super profits – benefits the Lakers, Celtics, Jordans, and Kobes of the world to the detriment to the rest of the players and teams.  LeBron James is currently the primary beneficiary.  He’s fine with that.  ESPN is fine with that.  Nike is fine with that.  Gatorade is fine with that.  If you’re a fan of the Atlanta Hawks, Charlotte Bobcats, Los Angeles Clippers, Washington Wizards, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Timberwolves, Toronto Raptors, Oklahoma City Thunder, Portland Trailblazers, Golden State Warriors, Memphis Grizzlies, New Orleans Hornets, or Sacramento Kings, you’re not fine with that.

“The Greatest Tragedy in Sports” – Part 1(of 9):

If the above embed doesn’t work, here is the link.

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LeBron Travel TV

22 May

I have just discovered a fantastic LeBron website (thanks, Tamislav), LeBron Travel TV. It’s a youtube video channel devoted to the documentation of LeBron’s bumbling and stumbling bullshit. The camera doesn’t lie.

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From: the NBA, To: LeBron James

26 Dec

For anyone who watched the wonderful LeBron James Christmas special on TNT tonight – you just witnessed the refs coming off the bench for the Cleveland Cavaliers late in the 4th quarter to make three or four consecutive “foul” calls and gift LeBron a pathetic little undeserved win for Christmas. After watching this BS, it really isn’t hard to see how the Cavs have such a jacked-up record this year.

What. A. Joke.  Any reasonable sports fan would have to admit that the last six minutes of the game were a shining example as to why the NBA is a second-tier professional sport these days.

Merry Christmas from the entire ESPNBAvid $tern family to the little baby Jesus of the NBA, LeBron James, and the entirety of knuckle-dragging fair-weather fandom.

Also, next up – 24 hours of LeBron – whateverthefuck that is. Is this shit for real? Yes, somehow it is. I caught an advertisement for it between vomiting bouts. So those of you Clevelanders or New Yorkers who need more jackoff material, grab a jar of fucking vaseline and be sure to tune in!

Assholes.

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NYC, All-Nike Team, Fines, Flops, Refs

4 Jul

Suck on this obviously choreographed LeBron/NYC photo op, Cavs fans. Wow. More on this later.

A couple of stories I’ve missed because I’ve been taking my usual post-playoffs break from LeBullshit:

First up – Tim Donaghy and game fixing. Ah, the Donaghy scandal(s). When Donoughy got busted, it demonstrated as a matter of fact that all-powerful NBA refs are capable of massive sleazebaggery. It was pretty shocking, but the scandal was successfully contained by the NBA and we were led to believe that the whole fiasco extended to a crazy rogue ref and affected a couple of inconsequential games.

Then Donaghy pulled a full-on Jose Canseco and the issue was no longer containable. According to Donaghy, an inner-circle of sycophantic refs working in cahoots with league goons created an atmosphere in which star players were not called for technical fouls (LeBitching at refs without punishment, LeBron’s famous LeElbows, etc.) and that bogus calls/no-calls (“the travel” anyone?) were made to force TV-friendly matchups, game sevens, and to prop up popular stars in the league. Think about the Celtics/Cavs series – how many games did LeBron play like absolute trash (see previous posts), and still wind up taking 20 free throws, keeping the Cavs in the game and therefore in the series? The answer is…surprise…almost every game in the series.

Donaghy and Mike Brown cheating and stuff

[Way too easy. See the internet for *tons* of hilarious captions.]

Predicatably, ESPNBAvid $tern stonewalled (and still stonewalls) on this issue. This is how I see it – nine times out of ten, this pleading the fifth bullshit is basically an admission of guilt. Any reasonable person can see that this crap is happening on a regular basis or, at the very least, that the existence of game fixing is very likely and warrants serious investigation. Jeff van Gundy, Phil Jackson, and a slew of other coaches and players are on record agreeing with Donaghy’s accusations.

On to a tengentially related ref story – the NBA announced that it will begin fining floppers next season. At first, I thought this would be a good thing, because it would stop LeBron from doing things like pretending he was poked in the eye when he wasn’t and putting flagrant fouls on opposing players. I was totally psyched about it. Then I thought about it for about ten seconds and realized that the league will never do anything to fuck LeBron over. So, sadly, I concluded that the new rules will actually make opposing players more afraid of taking charges from LeBron, which is basically the only thing a defender can do to stop LeBron, since if you actually try to block his shots or steal the ball you are automatically called for a foul. Plus, LeBron clearly doesn’t give a crap about fines since he is, uh, kind of rich. Very, very depressing development. Ugh.

Next up – NYC. See the LeBron/Statue of Liberty picture. The whole LeBron to NY story has gone from conjecture to pretty much a foregone conclusion and I love it. Poor, poor Clevelanders. Trade him now and get some value.

Finally, on to the US All-Nike Olympic team. Yeah – so the Coach K’s US Olympic team is made up of all Nike-sponsored players except for Dwight Howard (Adidas). That’s just fantastic. Looks like Gilbert was on to something when he said that it appeared the roster was set before tryouts. Apparently unconcerned about keeping up appearances, Nike promptly announced a documentary series about the team’s road back to the Olympics to air on ESPN.

For you conspiracy buffs out there, I’ll leave you with Nike’s official team photo. Notice that Dwight Howard is covering up the Nike swoosh on his shorts. Most importantly, notice that a freakishly enormous rat has been dressed in human clothing and posed in a sitting position, blocking Dwight Howard’s Adidas shoes. Hmmm…

USA All-Nike Team

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Jeff van Gundy is a tool, a clown, and a gump

10 May

No thanks to LeBron, the Cavs won a home game against the Celtics. Congrats, guys! You are now on the level of the mighty Atlanta Hawks! LeBron laid a third consecutive egg (5-16 shooting) and was predictably bailed out by the refs (8-12 from the line).

While the game itself (LeBron flopping, faking, charging) was bad, Jeff van Gundy was worse. He was absolutely unbearable. He was so bad that the five minutes he spent discussing Chinese-owned markets actually turned out to be the high point of his commentary. Anything to drown out the sound of LeBron loudly clanking jumpshots off of the front of the rim, I suppose – whether it’s LeBrown-nosing or irrelevant BS.

It’ really funny how it’s impossible to get anything resembling informative commentary from a game involving LeBron James. Jeff van Gundy simply refused to let up on LeBron glorification no. matter. what. TNT was so desperate for some LeBron magic that it had the nerve to run an obnoxious LeBron video montage right in the middle of a particularly bad stretch of his suckfest. This kind of crap validates my suspicion that there really is some kind of pro-LeBron agenda and a pro-LeBron script the announcers are asked to follow. How else would you explain the absurd timing of the montage? It was totally inappropriate, especially considering the amazing games Joe Smith and Delonte West were having. Why not a montage of Joe Smith nailing seven consecutive shots? Delonte West draining a bunch of threes? Guess TNT feels they have to throw the zombie horde some LeBron-flavored brains between beer commercials. Sadly, they’re probably right.

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David Stern clears a big man out of the lane for LeBron

2 May

Ugh.

As if I needed it, even more ammo. Could this get any more ridiculous? Suspending Songaila for a little half-slap to LeBron is yet another obvious example of the NBA’s protection of their little chosen one.

Here is the clip from some guy’s blog on AOL – watch for yourself.

Listen to Marv Albert go batshit the very moment it goes down. It was as if he was hoping and praying for such a thing to happen the whole time. Way to whip yourself up into a frenzy, old man. What’s the deal? Is the act of constantly represssing a perverted woman-biting fetish keeping you on edge? Chill the fuck out.

Marv Albert - he bites!

YESH!

Definitely one of the lamest suspensions of all time, especially considering all of the non-suspensions as of late. What is this little bitch slap compared to the UFC-caliber elbow LeBron dealt Andre Blatche?  Kobe and LeBron’s elbows from last year’s playoffs? Even Sideshow Bob’s clothesline? Two of those events were even in this series, for crying out loud. Removing every obstacle from LeBron’s path to the finals is the name of the game.  Even if it’s a backup forward on the Wizards.

So, another day, another heaping helping is added to the already sky-high pile of bullshit.

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