LeBron’s Accomplishments

2012 Sports Illustrated Douchebag Sportsman of the Year!

Not preventing his All-Star team from winning the championship after Derrick Rose’s season-ending injury!

Winning another little bronze man figurine to play with in the offseason!

LeBron James wins MVP in 2012

LeBron is racking up these consolation prizes like nobody’s business!

Crashing the fuck out of the finals!  Again!

GERMANS DON'T HAVE FEELINGS!!!

LeBron again proves he is a born loser, single-handedly negating the awesomeness of D. Wade and friends.  Please enjoy these wonderful LeBron jokes.

Power-fucking Cleveland through a brick wall!

C'est la vie, mothefuckers...Au revoir!

C'est la vie, motherfuckers...Au revoir!

Choking, bricking, and crashing out the playoffs!  Early!  Again!  But it was because of my elbow, so it doesn’t really count…

elbronWeird.  For some reason, my elbow doesn’t hurt when I thump the shit out of my chest…

Printing even more MVP t-shirts !

lebron-james-mvp-shirt

Crashing out of the playoffs!

Not fair!  NOT FAIR!!! I'm taking my ball and LEAVING!  WAAAAAAAH!

Not fair! NOT FAIR!!! I'm taking my ball and LEAVING! WAAAAAAAH!

LeBron shot shit for 20 and suffered another one of his signature imaginary eye-gouges, crashing out of the playoffs in six games against the Orlando Magic.  Pretty humiliating for an “invincible” team that had swept through the first rounds of the playoffs and held the best record in the NBA for the entire season.  The humiliation didn’t stop there, though.  As soon as the buzzer sounded, LeBron ran directly into the locker room, showered, and then hid at the back of the team bus, where I think it’s safe to assume he cried himself to sleep, curled up in a ball with his New Jersey Nets blanket, sucking his thumb.

Clutch!

M – V – P!!!

LeBron James bricks a free throw

It finally happened!  LeBron, against all odds, has won his first MVP award!  It was a one-in-a-million shot, but he came through to win it all!  Even with the media, countless NBA officials, the league commissioner, and the entire corporate world fighting him all the way!  He is a true hero.

LeBron earned the MVP after  he led the league in points per game…err, um…assists per game?  Hmmm…no, not that either…certainly he must have led the league in assist to turnover ratio…uh…or not.  Crap.  Double-doubles, then?  He’s the next Oscar Robertson, right?  Surely he led the league in double-doub…dang, not that either!  Sheesh.  Let me think…

Free throws made!  Of course!  He led the league in free throws made!  Yes!

M-V-P!!!

Not crashing out of the Olympics!

Melo clearly hates LeBron James.

Whoopdee-fucking-doo!  Amazing!  Also, he finished behind two guys from Iran in PPG.

*

Photo-opping the living shit out of the Olympics in New York!

LeBron might perhaps consider going to New York in 2010...or maybe earlier.  Err...like now.

LeBron might perhaps consider going to New York in 2010...or maybe earlier. Err...like now.

*

Crashing out of the playoffs!

1. Score 45 points in your only decent game of the series.

2. Miss a layup (2 points), a free throw (1 point), and a three-pointer (3 points) in the last 30 seconds of the game (total of 6 points).

3. Lose to the Celtics by 5.

4. Run to the locker room without shaking hands or even making eye contact with a single Celitcs player.

5. Cry all the way back to Ohio.

Clutch.*

Crashing out of the NBA Finals!

Finally, LeBron’s luck runs out as he fails to win a single game in the finals against the predictable-ass Spurs.

Many a sports commentator agreed that the Cavs were one of the worst finals teams in recent memory.

Clutch.*

Crashing out of the World Championships!

Losing to Greece? A chump-ass bronze medal?

Clutch.*

Crashing out of the playoffs!

The Cavaliers finally lose to the Pistons in 7 after LeBron James and friends demonstrate record-setting futility in the second half.

For everybody’s reference, here is a recounting of LeBron’s historic choke-fest in game 7:

1st half: Pistons 40, Cavaliers, 38. LeBron: 21 points.

2nd half: Pistons 39, Cavaliers, 23. LeBron: 6 points (4 free throws), 0 assists, 3 turnovers.

Final: Pistons 79, Cavaliers 61.

Clutch.

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192 Responses to “LeBron’s Accomplishments”

  1. U suck July 12, 2010 at 11:17 pm #

    Wow such unclassy haters lebron did do the right thing he couldn’t stay on a failing team forever he would’ve died before getting a championship ring now he really will get one. You guys are big self absorbed arrogant babies 2 shelby sthu hater lebron is rich and famous he doesn’t need ur worthless behind and couldn’t care less lebron is awesome and ohio is very unclassy and ignorant and immature see this only proves his fans weren’t loyal they were fricken exploiting lebron as long as they could munipulate him into staying they were happy now that he was brave and made the right choice they hate lol way 2 show ur true colors fricken fakes.

  2. 78 July 13, 2010 at 7:41 am #

    FUCK the FAKE KING
    SON OF beach and bitch
    DAMN MR. CRAB
    LBJ is a shit

  3. ii3rittles July 14, 2010 at 7:01 am #

    Haha, I loved this. Its a shame because he could have won us a championship. He gave up on himself long before we knew… *tisk*

  4. pistonsfan July 20, 2010 at 2:36 am #

    usuck is gay for LeBrick. He wants the long schlong

  5. pistonsfan July 20, 2010 at 2:37 am #

    usuck is gay for lebron

  6. pistonsfan July 20, 2010 at 2:52 am #

    oh yeah, btw la bron is gay

  7. FLBJ July 27, 2010 at 6:00 am #

    I do hate him, but you’ve got to admit, he had some real shitty teammates. He shouldn’t have to score 21 out of 38 in a half

  8. akronboi July 29, 2010 at 4:56 am #

    bron u fucking gay. what a pussy! bron a fucking shadow of d.wade

  9. MadSeason July 31, 2010 at 8:20 am #

    @Usuck: Actually writing that Lebron is “brave” may be the dumbest thing EVER posted on the internet. That is one amazing accomplishment if you consider what is and has been posted on the internet.
    Brave would’ve been the exact opposite of what LeBron chose to do. Staying in Cleveland would’ve been brave. Being willing to accept and face challenges is brave. Being a leader is brave. Carrying a team is brave. Shouldering and accepting responsibility is brave. Not taking the easy way out is brave.
    Any ring(s) he may win with the Miami Heat may as well be made from tin for all they’ll be worth.

    btw, my comments aren’t from someone that is a Cavs’ fan or from the state of Ohio.
    I’m from NYC and a Knicks’ fan.

  10. DWAYNEJAMES August 2, 2010 at 4:56 am #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk4NSJG77x4&playnext=1&videos=u9FVb9GzSlQ&feature=recentlik

    lebron response to cleveland caverliers LMAO!!!!!

  11. Joe August 4, 2010 at 6:37 pm #

    usuck actually sucks penis, mainly lebron’s

  12. kevin September 27, 2010 at 6:25 pm #

    True, he might be a shadow to wade … but seriously he isnt going anywhere further staying with the cavs…. im sooo happy he left but unhappy he joined the heat. anyway, guyss stop hating yourself and get over it. lebron hates the cavs and doesnt give any shit… go find another HERO!!!

  13. Travis October 8, 2010 at 1:02 am #

    I LOVE LEBRON HERE IN MIAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. CACA SMELLS GOOD November 1, 2010 at 6:57 am #

    If you hate LeBron so much why did you suck his moms penis? Also, why did you lick his anus after he defecated and didn’t wipe his but? The greatest player to touch the basketball=LeBron James. Haters=Suck your moms dick. Fuck LeBron James and the Miami Cheats.

  15. james November 8, 2010 at 3:00 pm #

    I think your gay if you hate Lebron James. What did he do to any of you guys…..? Your all mad cuz he is one of the best basketball players ever (next to Jordan and Wilt). You have to gives the heat time to get a feel for each other…..how can you say Lebron sucks when he hits three’s all the time and can dunk like a mad man…..?

  16. erica November 25, 2010 at 4:29 am #

    Lebron is a traiting bitch, MJ never had to leave to get a championship. hes all about himself. cavs arnt and will not be a failing team their winning games without his assssssss and him and his 2 bitches (wade and bosh) are losing games with his ass. tonight they were winning by 6 with him on the bench he came in and they started losing again. hes a ball hog big headed bitccch

  17. Jamal December 2, 2010 at 1:42 pm #

    OK LISTEN UP ALL YOU DUMB ASS FUCKING LEBRON HATERS SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MAKING FUN OF THE THINGS HE DIDNT DO OR FINISH IN CLEVELAND. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS GUY BROUGHT YOUR TEAM TO LIFE, BROUGHT THEM HOPE. WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR HE HAS TO DO HATS BEST FOR HIM. HIS NAME IS LEBRON JAMES NOT LEBRON CLEVELAND. HE DOESNT OWE YOU PEOPLE NOTHING THEN WHAT HE ALREADY BROUGHT. SO SHUT TE FUCK UP AND BE HAPPY YOUR CITY EVEN HAS A TEAM.

  18. jake December 3, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    i love lebron.

  19. Lebron James December 4, 2010 at 8:20 am #

    u lame-os…king is laughing in his million dollar mansion in miami while u are creating weak sites, piling up nonsense, begging for attention…hilarious..i decided to come on this site after he thumped yall in Cleveland..lol..thnk about it…he will never see tis site, so what’s the use..even if he does, he’d prolly take “mental notes” and pour 50 in one half…

  20. ctownlove December 5, 2010 at 3:52 pm #

    Can we just say that its pretty much right there in front of are nose. Something happened inside the organisation. Lebron tried to get his team more involed and they just couldn’t do it, Mo is a screen door and can’t defend anyone, and are shooters are hit or miss and more often they miss, come on cleveland we put are hopes on an 18 year old kid, people grow up goals change, instead of being all pissed of let it go, focus on the future maybe if we improve are image,maybe just maybe we can get our winner. Just remember pointing a finger at lbj there’s 3 more pointed at you

  21. Yeah December 8, 2010 at 1:02 am #

    Ok, well the person that made this site is the most ignorant asshole I’ve ever seen. You need to shut the fuck up about LeBron James and worry about something else you fucking prick. LeBron is probably the best basketball player of all time and you guys know it. The on thing he needs is a championship and he wasn’t gonna get it with the Cavs because they SUCK. Yeah, so think about what I just said asshole.

  22. justsaying.. December 14, 2010 at 1:31 pm #

    It boggles me when i think about all the crap LeBron’s done to the great city of Cleveland, he quit on us during the playoffs, completly embarassed us in front of the whole world by making a huge event out of picking his new team. Now it wouldn’t have been half as bad if he would have just plainly came out and told everyone straight up what was going down. Our “King” didn’t even have the courage to tell his own teamates he was leaving. They had to find out like all the rest, during “The Decision.” Probably one of the biggest mistakes of his life. If he hadn’t made such a big deal about it, maybe he’d still have some fans here, but good job LeBron, Akron will forever hate you.
    And to LeBron: I watched your great egotistical ass make your decision on ESPN with my sweet seven year old brother. Even though when he met you, you acted like a complete jerk, he was still your biggest fan. He played basketball just because of you. You inspired him. After seeing you make the decision, he went off to his room for the night very upset. The next day he decided to quit basketball. He told us he didn’t want to grow up to be a “big fat jerk-head like LeBron”
    So thank you “Chosen One” you’ve crushed his dreams.

  23. Austin Hamon December 21, 2010 at 8:17 pm #

    lebron is a beast and always will be i think the heat have won 12 straight games and how many have the cavs won in a row????

  24. Austin Hamon December 21, 2010 at 8:20 pm #

    without lebron the cavaliers would be a joke and now they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

  25. Austin Hamon December 21, 2010 at 8:24 pm #

    maybe if there was some talent to help him in the playoffs maybe they would have had a better chance at making it to the finals he only put up 45 points he carried that fucking team and im sick of you cocksuckers putting him down hell i dont blame him for leaving cleveland now hes in south beach which means that hes gonna bring home some hardware ps: dan gilbert is a punk ass bitch!!!!!!

  26. Obama December 30, 2010 at 9:36 pm #

    Hey Pistonsfan, You are awesome. I feel the same exact way of LBJ as you do. The self-proclaimed king is a mouse. He has to be the single most self centered guy ever. You can already see the NBA trying to get away from him as their signature player. I love it. He will create his own destiny which will include imminent failure.

  27. EFF LEBRON January 15, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    im not even remotely close to cleveland but what a great site!!!!
    i hope lebron reads this shit!!!
    fuck you lebron!!!!

  28. lbjs awsome January 17, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    lebron james is the greatest player of all time. he did the right choice by going to the miami heat

  29. lbjs awsome January 17, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    lebron james is awsome. he is the greatest basketball player of all time. he did the right choice by going to the miami heat

  30. rick March 15, 2011 at 11:31 pm #

    lebron james is such a shitty player…guy comes off as arrogant, rude, just a plan dick. unless your one of his dick ridding fans. guy is a sore loser..im not a big fan of kobe but you never see that guy act like that. i thought it was crazy when lebron wouldnt shake anyones hand..shows the man he is..and then he almost ran over his own coach… fuck lebrick and 2 and half men out there in miami…they cant even beat the bulls or the celtics. talk some shit when you get a ring. like Michael Jordan said i wasnt trying to join my oppoenents i was trying to beat them…i guess lebron figured cant beat them might as well join them…

  31. ILoveLebron April 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    U GAYS GOT LEBROM=N FUCKD UP HE THE BEST OUT CHEA HOE ASS NIGGA U SOFT FOR EVEN MAKEN DIS WACK ASS WEBSITE N SO IS YALL HOES WHOS HATIN….BITCHZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. CHRISCHENG May 25, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    I’m proud 2 say this:
    I HATE LEBRON…no matter wat u lebron lovers think.
    i mean,,, c’mon… ditching cavs just so he can get a ring?!?!
    wat a gay!

  33. Jeff June 1, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    I hate Lebron. He is probably the best or at least one of the best RIGHT NOW but, who cares. I hate watching him and the little things he does like complain to the referees even though he gets ALL and then some calls. I always thought he was arrogant, complained, and seemed a little bit like a wrestler on WWE. I could not believe “the decision”! The whole event was straight up crazy. Not only was it the single biggest egomaniac event I’ve ever heard of; he left his city, fans, and organization on public tv!!!! I don’t even care that he left Cleveland. Many have done it. Malone left Utah to play with the Lakers for a shot at the title too but, didn’t shit over everyone as he left. I was pretty happy when the Cleveland owner ripped him. I believe that most people would agree that he is an arrogant jerk and that is great consolation. I do enjoy rooting against him…. like a villain.

  34. cavsfanforever14 June 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    Lebron james you piece of shit !!! you probly get on your knees and lick off Dwade ( whos stayed true to his team for many years winning 2 championships) and sucking off Chris bosh ( who also is a sack of shit ) you 2 players are fucking disgusting. you give up on a team who has given you fucking EVERYTHING!!!!! starting from when you were just in highschool! you piece of shit i hope dallas comes back and fucking beats you posers

  35. cavsfanforever14 June 2, 2011 at 10:15 pm #

    by the way lebron .. gotta give delonte west props for hitting that .. ahahahah

  36. Michael 006 June 8, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    U guys can suck a dick he is the greatest players of all, time, CLEVELAND FANS after all hes done for you how can u hate him, u were nothing but shit before he came, the chosen one brought you where you were for last 7 years, no one knew about cleveland before he came, u Fucking ass holes, how many people can be that fucked up? Ok he did some things wrong last year, but you cant hate a man, that has carried the whole city alone for fucking years and yeah RICK, actually they raped both celtics and bulls

  37. Direct Tv Deals June 9, 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    i hate lebron

  38. the Truth June 11, 2011 at 1:31 am #

    1. if Miami doesn’t win with Wade/James/Bosch…..they will be the laughing stock of the NBA. It’s kinda like when you play a video game and you “create your dream team”…… if you lose…you suck.

    2. Go Mavs….a better team with a much better leader….who doesn’t choke…. Lebron, your a great player…. but you are a Scottie

  39. james lebron June 14, 2011 at 2:01 am #

    james is ruining the nba

  40. wil05 October 17, 2011 at 10:59 am #

    Fuck all the the LBJ haters, you suck all !! this young guy is the real mvp of the nba and he will be this for a long time !!
    Go LBJ, it’s time to get your ring my man, fuckin lock out, fucking sir charles, fucking all the haters forever !! Peace

  41. bernardgwatkins December 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    Well – you can’t argue with results. He does have quite a few titles.

  42. Mr. Bulls January 14, 2012 at 6:21 am #

    Richard Hamilton is a perfect example of how to live a city and the team you’ve been with your whole franchise. Its even worse that LeBron grew up in the city he played for and meant so much to that city. I can guarantee you that Derrick Rose will be a Bull for his entire career, whether the time wins or loses. And considering who both of them are, any team either is on will always be a dominant team. So he had no real reason to leave, they needed to sign one key player to win yet he never pushed or recruited or trusted management for it.

  43. zac January 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

    all I gotta say is you got way to much fuckin time on your hands you ass hole. Get a fuckin life bitch

  44. josh January 30, 2012 at 2:23 am #

    not everbody who hates lebron is from clevland or a clevland fan. i hate him beacause he is a whinny bitch. every play that he dosn’t score on or gets a foul on defense he throws his hands up crys to the ref and makes that stupid face you know the one i’m talikng about. fuck lebron.

  45. Embarrassing February 21, 2012 at 7:12 pm #

    You know what Lebron doesn’t care about? Everyone who talks shut about him on this website. At the end if the day, he’s paid, you are not. He’s poppin bottles, you’re popping zits behind your computer screen. Get over it

  46. lebron james February 22, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

    lebron is the king

    best player of all time

    MVP

  47. LeBron James LOVER March 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    Just imagine if you were him! He gets mad like everyone else! Why would you expect him to be all fine and dandy all the time just because he’s famous?! Grow the fuck up. He’s one of the greatest players of all time. A Legend.

  48. Srambo March 4, 2012 at 2:22 am #

    Lebron is an egocentric peace of shit who blows it for his team and gave up on a city that needed him and wasnt he born/ grew up near cleveland? Peice of shit traitor

  49. President Carter March 9, 2012 at 7:44 pm #

    YUH LIK LABRAWN IZ SUCH A DICKPUSSY FACE HE LIK SUCK SO MUCH DUMB HOE HE IZ DO BIGGGEZT DUECHEBAF IN THE WURLDE FOREEEEEEZ HE SUCK SO MUCH

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