LeBron James and Jay-Z are now a “We”…and no more endorsements

15 May

LeBron and Jay-Z have merged their persons to invent a new business concept.  Like Voltron dressed in a tacky suit.  Instead of totally awesome lazers, this money-making machine is armed with…uh…douchey sunglasses?

Seriously, read the story.  What a bunch of bullshit.  A couple of egomaniacal pop icons unite to wine and dine a bunch of rich jerks and fool themselves into thinking that they have discovered a revolutionary new business paradigm.  Okay.  Sure.  LeBron and Jay-Z are business pioneers like dudes smoking weed in the parking lot of Dairy Queen at 3 am and staring up at the stars are astrophysicists.

lebron-and-jay-z“We don’t want to do endorsement deals anymore,” said James as he stood next to Jay-Z. “When I talk to Jay, we always talk about creating relationships and friendships not endorsement deals where you pay me money and I hold up a product. We don’t do that. We all got money in here.”

No more endoresments? Okay.  These quotes are from February.  It’s May.  Shockingly, I have seen hundreds of LeBron commercials.  I’ve even seen one as recently as five fucking seconds ago.  What happened?

(with Yankees hat)

(with Yankees hat)

lebron-wtflebron-vitamin-waterlebron-spritelebron-poweradelebron-cokethe-lebronslebron-nike-shilllebron-bubble-gum

Ugh. Obviously, I left out dozens of examples.  I was getting bored.  And nauseous.  I think I made my point.

So LeBron’s quest to be the world’s first billionaire athlete continues.  Too bad Michael Schumacher already got there in 2005, so that distinction is no longer up for grabs (thanks for the info, Brian).  With Tiger Woods on pace to cross the billion dollar threshold in 2010, LeBron will be, at best, third to that party.  Behind a race car driver and golfer.

So, poor, misguided Clevelanders, stop pretending that this New York deal isn’t going to happen.  It is going down.  Knicks, Jay-Z’s Bronx Bombers, whatever.  LeBron is gonna get that munny.  If that doesn’t work, LeBron might sell clones of himself.  Or shill for Coke and Pepsi.  Or sell his soul to the devil (wait, I think ESPNBAvid $tern already owns that).

lebron-the-power-shill“Green is the most beautiful color in the world,” said James as he raised his glass. “That’s how you create partnerships, with the color green.”

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3 Responses to “LeBron James and Jay-Z are now a “We”…and no more endorsements”

  1. bryan May 28, 2009 at 2:26 am #

    yeah these two make me sick. feel free to use my poster that i took to a wiz playoff game last year

    http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x197/bryan_1976/lebron/gameposter.jpg

  2. mamopo360 January 20, 2010 at 3:04 am #

    maybe he meant something along the lines of “i’m not gonna follow through on anything i’ve ever said”. i want to know why his little bitch ass isn’t in the dunk competition this year… i know i heard him say last year he was gonna do it. he is so afraid of failing that he’ll never win a thing. where there is risk there is reward. fuck this sellout. this stupid queer cant come up with anything original enough to enter… i guaran-fuckin-tee it. he’s nothing but an weak ass bitch. i hope at least he is holding on to his “eastern conference player of the week” trophies. thats like winning a gold medal at the special olympics

  3. Neisha January 28, 2012 at 4:19 am #

    I agree with you 100%…. I can’t stand Landon James either, u have to sell out to become famous. Damn Shame……

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