Dear Cleveland, I hate you guys. Sincerely, LeBron James

27 Dec

Recently, Lebron threw Clevelanders a bone by mentioning that he might agree to a contract extension ahead of his 2010 free agency.  For some reason, Clevelanders seem to have bought it hook, line, and sinker (considering all the “see, that proves LeBron loves us” emails I’ve gotten).  Oh, how quickly you forget, gullible residents of the Mistake on the Burning Lake.  I’d like to take this chance to remind you all just how many times LeBron has insulted you and your fair city before you get too giddy and buy into LeBron’s empty little PR ploy:

First, here are some choice quotes and news stories from the LeBron/NY love affair (weight this against his single “I might consider…possibly, perhaps staying in…*cough*…Cleveland” quote):

You have to stay open-minded if you’re a Knicks fan. … If you guys want to sleep right now and don’t wake up until July 1, 2010, then go ahead. It’s going to be a big day.

We got really close. Coach D’Antoni gave me a lot of freedom, he allowed me to play every position I wanted to play, I was the leader of that team, but I was also like the overseer of some offensive plays.

To be a part of that chemistry, be part of the offensive mastermind that Coach D’Antoni is, that was great.

We were able to do some things on offense that were really unstoppable with the Olympic team.

When asked about the prospect of joining the Knicks:

It would be unfair to bring that kind of distraction to our team and my teammates, the coach and the rest of the organization,” James said. “I think July 1, 2010 will be one the bigger days in free agent history.

Sure, buddy.  Then there was the leak from LeBron’s NBA power-player pal that he favors a Knicks trade.  Pretty damning stuff. As if anybody outside Cleveland didn’t know that already, considering LeBron unveiled his new Big Apple shoe in New York, during a game against the Knicks, to a thunderous round of applause from New Yorkers.  Applause LeBron gladly accepted.

Then there was LeBron’s overly-defensive reaction to Charles Barkely calling him out.  It never escalated to a proper feud, but it was nice.

Charles: The outside forces should never affect your locker room. I think LeBron has made some of the right comments, but he hasn’t made the perfect comment. He still alienated 11 guys in his locker room…

If I was LeBron James, I would shut the hell up.

LeBron: He’s stupid. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Charles: LeBron James is one of my favorite players, but he’s been 100 percent wrong in this situation Barkley said. It’s unfair to the city of Cleveland and it’s unfair to the Cleveland Cavaliers team. If it was a year away it would still be unfortunate. I wish he would sign a lifetime deal with the Cavaliers.

LeBron: I guarantee that I will move to New York.  I’d rather die than stay in this shithole.  Le-Bron Ja-Mes. Clap. Clap. Clap Clap Clap.

And don’t forget LeBron’s public displays of disrespect for Ohio’s other sports franchises!

I grew up in Ohio, but I love the Yankees.

I grew up in Ohio, but I love the Yankees.

I grew up in Ohio, but I love the Cowboys.

I grew up in Ohio, but I love the Cowboys.

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35 Responses to “Dear Cleveland, I hate you guys. Sincerely, LeBron James”

  1. Chancie December 30, 2008 at 6:51 pm #

    Damn, you are a lame limpick motherfucker.
    Get a life.

  2. someone with a life December 31, 2008 at 10:29 am #

    lol wow you really dont have nothing to do but create a site about hating lebron james.. you seriously need a life.

  3. mitch January 3, 2009 at 11:23 am #

    wow 2 more guys whu dont want to get of Lebrons dick, this site is a great read whether u agree or not, i cant stand him so its an even more greater read for me

  4. KF January 4, 2009 at 2:51 am #

    He needs a life, but you two guys took the time to find this site, read the article and post a comment. What does that make you, other than the obvious Lebron James fanboys? Here’s a tip, he doesn’t give a shit about you, your team, or your city. How’s that feel? Lebron james sucks.

  5. Hugh January 4, 2009 at 6:41 pm #

    This site is a godsend.

  6. Ralph January 6, 2009 at 4:09 pm #

    The best part is that when LeBron leaves for NY, all you cracker-jacks out there will become haters and pretend you hated him from the beginning. So to all you future liars out there who are current Cleveland and LeBron fans, i say this: ha ha.

  7. K iBaker May 11, 2009 at 4:01 pm #

    mann stop hating on lebron james he cant help it it the indians suck and the browns suck more he cant help it mabey yall need to give them sum help just like the basketball team did….STOP HATING….
    KOBE SUCKS
    GO KING JAMES 09 MVP

  8. someone else May 22, 2009 at 9:36 pm #

    ya ur just jeoulos that cleveland is going all the way! LEBRON ALL THE FUCKIN WAY BABY O YEA! so go home and cry u goddamn boston fans! LEBRON IS THE TRUE KING!! o and stop photoshopping pics of lebron. ya the yankees hat that was real and so what!? the indians suck i can’t blame him. the cowboys hat: THAT WAS FAKE!! dont deny it he had the same outfit on and the same expression and all the same people were around him. so ya get a life mother fucker!
    – THE TRUE LEBRON FAN!!!

  9. someone else May 22, 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    O YEA ONE MORE THING! LEBRON NEVER SAID THOSE QUOTES. LeBron: I guarantee that I will move to New York. I’d rather die than stay in this shithole. Le-Bron Ja-Mes. Clap. Clap. Clap Clap Clap. NOPE NEVER HAPPENED NEVER WILL SO GET A LIFE UR THE SHITHOLE CLAP CLAP CLAP go fuck yourself

  10. mw May 30, 2009 at 10:16 pm #

    wow who ever made this site really has no life. jealous? lebrons the best.. haha

  11. Steve December 8, 2009 at 4:17 pm #

    “LeBron: I guarantee that I will move to New York. I’d rather die than stay in this shithole. Le-Bron Ja-Mes. Clap. Clap. Clap Clap Clap.”

    Funny how there’s no sources for any of this shit except the trade. And that was an ambiguous at best “trade talk”.

  12. JoeyDelicious January 2, 2010 at 3:14 am #

    Good point Ralph! Screw LeHype James and his gay lover D. Stern! Fake ass NBA/WWE! With it’s bullshit officiating and it’s tv deals with ESPN/ABC. Tim Donaghy was just the tip of the Ice Berg. Fixing and changing the outcome of games for commercial money with ABC. What a disgrace! It’s too bad their destroying the beautiful game of basketball. They’ll do anything to make LeHype bigger then Jordan.. what a joke!

  13. tom January 21, 2010 at 11:31 pm #

    everybody knows lebron didn’t say that shit, it was just facetious humor owing to his huge narcissistic personality. same with the photoshopping… simple hyperbole for comic effect and the satirizing of james’ dubious character. god, you’re dumb.

    the most talented folks in the world typically are huge fucking assholes. lebron’s no different.

  14. Dan April 20, 2010 at 1:06 pm #

    I bet half of you guys weren’t even cavs fans until lebron rose to the top. hes gonna take the money and run to brooklyn and fuck all you guys over in Cleveland, after he loses in the playoffs and fails to win a ring yet again :)

  15. Dan April 20, 2010 at 1:08 pm #

    btw thats awfl, that he doesn’t even go to a Cleveland browns,indians game, or any team in ohios game for that matter showing that he’s an awful native of ohio :)

  16. Javier24 May 22, 2010 at 3:19 am #

    Lebron James sucks ass he’s the most overrated player….fuck him and this is a
    great website

  17. Javier24 May 22, 2010 at 3:19 am #

    Lebron suck ass

  18. Dan Gilbert July 9, 2010 at 7:48 pm #

    Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

    As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

    This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

    Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

    The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

    There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

    You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

    You have given so much and deserve so much more.

    In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

    “I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE”

    You can take it to the bank.

    If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

    Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

    Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.

    This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.

    But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.

    The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

    Just watch.

    Sleep well, Cleveland.

    Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….

    I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

    DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….

    Dan Gilbert
    Majority Owner
    Cleveland Cavaliers

  19. Jim July 11, 2010 at 12:59 pm #

    Why not show “King Nothing” how welcome he is in Cleveland and show up at his Bikeathon (http://www.kingforkidsbikeathon.com/) on August 7, 2010. It would be good to see his event get cancelled because of backlash!

  20. Jackelyn Narayanan July 12, 2010 at 2:23 am #

    Hey, thanks…I’ve been hoping for information like that. Great! That’s really interesting. Cheers!

  21. Adam July 12, 2010 at 2:45 pm #

    Lebron James is a trader and an over paid shit head. We need to start a petition to ban him from ohio forever even when the heat is playing the cavs in cleveland. I think all his cavs jerseys should bge burned and lebron himself should have to hand deliver a refund check on all the struff the cavs fans bought that has lebrons name or brand logo on it period. I personaly think that lebron and art modell should get an apartment together and giver out free jars or vasoline to all the guest who come to there parties. I think everybody in the state of ohio should show up to lebrons bike athon and punch him in his face or put him out in the middle of a field and let everybody kick him in the nuts one time.

  22. William July 15, 2010 at 4:24 am #

    Cleveland stop your crying…. Lebron just went to the better team and city….Miami!

  23. Dwadesdick July 22, 2010 at 12:16 am #

    Hey Lebron can you please take me out of your mouth.

  24. lardog July 22, 2010 at 5:02 am #

    i know lebron said his mom gave him the o. k. to go to miami, did she also tell him who was better in bed? delonte west or bobby sura!!

  25. Blood, Sweat & Beers Band September 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm #

    So, we did a “LeBron is a Cock Sucker” T-shirt and would love to have your help selling it if you’re at all interested. It has pics of a rooster & a candy sucker in place of the words, so it’s okay to wear in public. We’ve been Cleveland fans all of our lives (since 1972 for me), and this is the biggest kick in the nuts since Art moved our Browns to the City of Hypocrites. Check out http://www.mightyblumpkins.com and let us know what you think.

  26. Master Thomas February 15, 2011 at 3:06 am #

    Pardon me. I have to go take a Lebron.

  27. jdogbigmacing March 4, 2011 at 3:18 pm #

    wow who ever says lebron james is the best on this websites is a fucking faget. did anyone whatch that magic game down 24 and came back to kick lebron oh and wades bitch ass FUCK lebron james he will never win a champ

  28. jdogbigmacing March 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    i hated cavs i hate leborn i hate heat i hate lebron fuck you lebron

  29. jdogbigmacing March 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    lebron sucks big fucking cock

  30. Sammy May 11, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    no one will ever respect the decision…. eveyone knows Miami tampered and the deal was already done, it was all an act…. the whole thing stinks…. cheat or conspire to win your championship…. no one cares…. P.S. good thing Delonte West didn’t win a championship or your mom’s pussy would be clankin’…. I liked LeBron until I realized he was a dick….. give me a Kevin Durrant next time…. I’m glad to see his “elbow” healed nicely….. what a joke.

  31. Jam9152 May 12, 2011 at 7:40 am #

    I read his latest apology tonight on the ESPN ticker . He is still a fucking 2 faced Cleveland traitor. He always played half assed in the playoffs when with the Cavs. especially the last year and the fake arm injury. fuck that worthless A-hole.I always change the channel when ever I see his face . every commercial I that come one I change the channel immediately. I have not and will not ever watch a game if he is one of the teams as a matter of I have not wat of ch over 2 minutes of any playoff game or regular season game this past year. I will not watch any pro Basket ball ever again because of that asshole. I will watch again when that bastard is dead. and a final thought the fucking officiating in the NBA and Collage is absolutely disgusting. FUCK LEBRON FUCKING JAMES

  32. Jimmy Bitner August 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    FUCK LEBRONNNNNN. ILL FUCK HIM

  33. Aaron Wight August 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    FUCK LEBRON JAMES!! ILL FUCK HIM AND JIMMY BITNER

  34. zeke June 26, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

    what do you have to say now that he has a ring?? Assholes!!! Suck his king sized balls because all of you dont have shit to say anymore. Not 1, not 2 not 3! The birth of a dynasty lead by KING JAMES!! Long live the king!!!!

  35. bernardgwatkins June 26, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    What do i say now? Uh…can you read, retard?

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