Huge update

29 Oct

Another NBA season is upon us. Here comes a never-ending stream of completely boring and meaningless basketball games for us to ignore for months at a time!  Thousand years from now, the playoffs will begin, at which time we will watch a few playoff games, realize those are also pretty boring, and then wait for LeBron to flop his way to games 4-7 of the NBA finals, watch those, realize basketball is a flawed joke of a sport, and then go to sleep in the 3rd quarter.  The end.

Anyhow, in order to do my due diligence as continuing part-time owner of and giver of at least one partial fuck about ihatelebronjames.com, I will get you retarded bunch of 14 year-olds up to speed on all the recent shit you’ve already heard about LeBron..

First, LeBron’s feet are *completely* jacked, probably because he was already 25 when he graduated high school and is now very, very old.  This:

LeBron is gross.

 

Second, Jordan threw the rabid hyena/sportswriter hybrids of the world a raw 72 oz. porterhouse when he claimed that he would have beaten LeBron in a game of 1 on 1 in his prime.  Jordan quickly clarified that he meant no disrespect to LeBron, primarily because he was merely telling the truth (it is nearly universally acknowledged that Jordan is the greatest of all time, possesses a dramatically better jump shot than LeBron, and that LeBron would have been unable to utilize his go-to flop move in a game of 1-on-1).

Finally, LeBron still thinks he can play in the NFL/wants to play in the NFL (please, please do).  Oh yeah – a bunch of guys said a bunch of things about free agency and it was totally boring.  And Nike shoes are being sold in stores.

 

Share

5 Responses to “Huge update”

  1. Boycott the NBA October 30, 2013 at 4:20 am #

    Nope not watching………………..

  2. Craig Leggett November 8, 2013 at 5:51 am #

    Man! This site is hilarious!!! Do you ANYOTHER stuff on sports. It is really entertaining. Never cared for Lebron. Just curious what else you may write about. I can’t stop laughing at your lists of partial give a fucks..lol

  3. Le-insincere James, cc: Le-fake James November 21, 2013 at 11:35 pm #

    Yes. I am aware that Nike shoes are still being sold in stores since I just purchased a pair that cost me near a cool $150. Problem is. After just two weeks of use, the bond affixing the bottom of the shoe to the body of the shoe completely disintegrated. True story bruh.

    This whole thing would be flopping hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that $150 isn’t exactly change for the parking meter.

    Maybe if Nike actually paid more attention to manufacturing a shoe that aren’t deemed of abysmal quality than in whoring Lebron James on TV commercials as the next Mr. Rogers in your Neighborhood (yeah right), I would not be having this little foot draft problem here.

    Nike. You’re fired! As for Lebron, talk to me when the United Nations of athletes don’t gang up with you in Miami.

  4. Chowang November 22, 2013 at 2:49 am #

    LEBRON IS THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME. I LOVE HIM AND THERE IS NO REASON WHY ANYBODY SHOULD HATE HIM, I HOPE ALL YOU HATERS WILL REGRET LATER ON, BUT WHAT CAN I SAY? HATERS GONNA HATE.

  5. Lebron sucks 8=D December 29, 2013 at 1:26 am #

    Fùck Lebro, he’s way overrated

Leave a Reply